Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
