i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Its about making memories worth repressing
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
