he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
