honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
