The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
