David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
