We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
