I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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