We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
