Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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