after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize