I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize