That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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