the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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