hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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