We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
