and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
