The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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