is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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