i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
