he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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