Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize