Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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