My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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