Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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