Sponge bath it is.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
