If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
