you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
