Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
