Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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