The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
