Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
