you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
