If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
