her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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