Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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