do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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