We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize