It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
