seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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