Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
