Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
