ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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