It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
