I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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