We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
