I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize