I've blown a few things in my day
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
