I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
