Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
