Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
