If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
