Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
