My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
