i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
