my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize