sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
