Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize