"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
