What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
