Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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