Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
