I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
