Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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