The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
